


If you never try, you'll never know

by Thenaar



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:34:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thenaar/pseuds/Thenaar





	1. Chapter 1

Liz's head rested heavily on his left shoulder; her breath was calm and regular. He assumed she had fallen asleep some time before. When she had put her head on his shoulder, he had stiffened. During the past hour, his body had relaxed slowly. It was unusual for her to get close to him; normally she remained her distance.

Red stared out of the side window of the car; his eyes gleamed when they reflected the lights of various neon signs that were passing by. If someone had been able to look inside his head, they could have seen his mind running riot. Deep in thought, he chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was still trying to gain control over the chaos in his head that had prevailed the moment Lizzy had called him and told him that she had shot and killed Connolly.

He considered every single step they could take from here, and weighed the pros and cons. Step by step, he developed a reliable strategy for the next three weeks. They were right when they said about him that he was always two steps ahead, but at the moment he was in a disadvantage. He never could have predicted Liz last move on Connolly, he just needed some time to adjust his plans and then he would be back in the game, but this time he would be 20 steps ahead of them.

Red came to the conclusion that nothing had changed for him. He had been on the Most Wanted list of the FBI for over two decades. They had gotten close to him only one time because of his own arrogance, and he wouldn't make that mistake twice. This time it was completely different, nevertheless. From this point forward, he wasn't alone anymore, but they were in this situation together, two wanted criminals on the run.

He had turned her life inside out, and today she had managed to even flip it upside down. By her actions she had crossed a line, and there was no turning back. Liz had left her world full of light and had entered his world full of shadows and darkness. His world was their world now. She was a rookie to his world, and nothing could have been more dangerous.

Red had never wanted Lizzy to become like him, a fugitive, a fish in a cave without light. She had meant to be his ray of light, to lure him out of the darkness, to be his second chance. Instead, she had surprised him once again.  
He had to show her how to manipulate people so they would act on her behalf, how to play one criminal off against another, so other people do the dirty work for her, and how she could turn friends into enemies and enemies into friends. It was necessary in order to keep her alive.

It concerned him, though, that she was still thinking like a cop. Every criminal would recognize her as a cop. Time was tight to teach her all the things he had learned the hard way over the past two decades. It was a challenge for him, and he would probably need help. He would have never admitted it to anyone, let alone to himself, if it wasn't for Lizzy's sake. Red knew someone who might be able to help, but it wouldn't be easy to convince his friend he had in mind.

Raymond moved slightly in his seat to get a bit more comfortable. It caused Lizzie's head to slide from his shoulder to his chest where it rested peacefully. This position was uncomfortable for him because Lizzy blocked his arm with her body. Gently, he tried to pull his arm from under her body without waking her up, but it just caused Liz to move in her sleep. She got even closer to him, put her head on his shoulder and nestled her nose in the curve of his neck. Automatically, she put her arm around his waist. At least it gave him the opportunity to free his arm, and he put it on the headrest of the back seat. Red felt uneasy and hoped she would move again before she woke up. Otherwise, he would be screwed.

He leaned his right shoulder on the door of the car to have a look at Lizzy's face. She seemed relaxed; gone were the fears, the sorrows, and the grief. And gone was the chaos in his head. He wished her face would always look as carefree and free of negative emotions as in this moment.  
It made him smile to see her like that. He knew she needed every rest she could get because the months to come were going to be tiring for her. This was how he had spent his life in the past 20 years, always on the move, without any chance to rest. He didn't want her to go through this, but there wasn't any other option.

With a sigh, he turned his eyes away from her face and looked out of the window again. They had a headstart of about an hour, but that wasn't much. Agent Ressler would know by now that Liz was with him. If Red had learned one thing about Ressler, then that Donald would do everything in his power to find Lizzy.  
She was safe with him for now, at least as safe as she could be at the moment, with the Cabal hot on her heels. Red wouldn't allow Ressler to arrest Liz. It would mean she was on death row because the Cabal was everywhere.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to my lovley Beta Ghost-of-a-Chance-13 from fanfiction.net.  
As always the Characters are not me, if they were... Lizzington would be canon and Tom would have got what he deserved. *DEATH*  
Hope all of you enjoy reading this Chapter.

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The next two hours were uneventful. Liz slept peacefully nestled against him, she had not moved away as he hoped. Not that he would complain for holding her in his arms; quite the opposite. He loved to hold her, but he wasn't sure if she'd like it as much as he did when she woke up in his arms. Liz had rested her head on his shoulder but that was a decision she made while awake. His thoughts were cut by the buzzing noise of the burner in his right trouser pocket. He got it out without waking Liz, checked the caller id, flipped it open, held it to his ear, and listened. Dembe got good news; two associates and good friends of his were willing to train Elizabeth in all aspects she needed to survive in a shady criminal underworld. And he got bad news too: Donald got the license plate number off this van, so they needed to change transportation as soon as possible. He ended the call with a short and quiet "be safe my friend."

They would switch cars in the next 10 minutes. He would wake up Liz in few minutes, so she could wake up fully before they need to change clothing as well. His suits would be easily recognized and they knew what Liz was wearing. It would be better for them if she dyed her hair, but that was something they needed to discuss later, because it would be her decision to make.

He got ripped out of his thoughts; his driver had to stand on the brakes, because they caught a deer in their headlights. Red tried in vain to hold Liz in place, but she slipped from his grip, woke up and took a hold on the back of the front row seat, which she had slammed against. Liz looked around confused; she couldn't analyze the situation with her sleep fogged mind.

"What's going on," she asked, her voice still heavy with sleep, but alert. "Only a deer on the road, nothing to be concerned about, sweetheart," Red told her with his usual deep timber. As she relaxed back in the seat, he thought it would be the best time to tell her the news about changing clothes and transportation. "Ressler caught up a little and that without slipping on a banana peel. Remind me that I have to reward him for this sometime, I thought it would take him longer to get on our trail." He chuckled darkly. "Unfortunately that means for us to change transportation and to be safe, to change clothes as well." Red glanced at Liz to catch her response. She only nodded in acknowledgement and looked out of the window into the woods. They started picking up speed again after the deer had left the road.

Liz couldn't get her brain to work. It was still foggy with sleep and every time she caught a thought, it slipped away. She sighed heavily, closed her eyes and let all events of the day come back to her mind in waves. Her eyes shot open; out of the corner of her eye, she saw Reddington watching her closely.

He noticed that she'd caught him staring.

"A penny for your thoughts?" He would love to know what goes on in her head; he could practically see the wheels turning.

"Save your money, Red; only reliving the day." He grimaced at that for a second before his mask clicked in place. They both knew he didn't need to guard himself in her presence, but he did it automatically. His mask was nearly perfect; Liz had only seen it crack a few times in private between the two of them or in presence of Dembe, but never out in the open. Her thoughts shot back to the moment she told him that she remembered; it was the first time she saw more than only a crack in his armor. It seemed for a moment, the walls he'd built around himself and his emotions had come crashing down; a moment of complete vulnerability; a short slip of his control, before he got a grip on it again. At that very moment, she realized how deeply he cared about her; Liz had never felt such deep devotion as he had let shown toward her in this moment. He gave up so many things, his freedom to save her from Tom, his immunity deal, his chance of a normal life, Hell even his own life and all his arrangements with the FBI would be off the table, if they could clear her name. All these things he did or would do for her, she had realized all of it the moment as he let his guard down and let his mask slip from his face. He had let her see his vulnerabilities; only confident people admit to their flaws and failures and Red is more than a confident man.

She was his vulnerability and she knew that he was afraid of it.

Everything that would make him vulnerable was a liability for him, because vulnerabilities could be exploited and that was something that would cost his life. She would cost him his life. This realization brought her back out of her thoughts, as their driver slowly stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere.


End file.
